Self Care, Looking After Yourself, Be Selfish. (1 min Read)

Putting yourself first, self-care isn’t wrong. If you neglect yourself then you perform badly in every aspect of your life. As I’ve got older I’ve learnt to get better at this, but I’m still learning.

Here is my list of things I do to take care of me, my personal self-care. Yours will be different of course, I thought I’d share mine.

Self-Care, Love who you are.

  • Start each day with green tea and lemon water after my dawn prayers.
  • Eat a good breakfast, usually with egg.
  • Get to the gym at least three times a week.
  • Say No. Don’t do things you don’t want to or feel uncomfortable doing. Never be a doormat.
  • Prioritise my health by getting regular checkups, smear tests, breast examinations, taking supplements and don’t ever put off doctors visits.
  • Avoid negativity and the people who spread it.
  • Draw a line under the past and don’t let it hold you back.
  • Go to bed before 11pm. I’m not good for much if I haven’t slept well!
  • Make the most of every day.
  • Limit Screen time when with family.
  • Love who you are and what you do.
  • If there’s something in your life upsetting you, change it. I’m working hard on this one.
  • Learn a new skill every year, last years was swimming!

Continue reading “Self Care, Looking After Yourself, Be Selfish. (1 min Read)”

Falling in Love

I have fallen in love, its been a long slow process and has taken many years it wasn’t love at first sight I wasn’t caught unawares this was an affection I strived for and nurtured and fed. In fact it started with hostility and disgust which took a while to get over.

Over the past decade its grown from a mild affection and respect to head over heels. The person I have learnt to love is myself. Yes I am talking about my relationship with who and what I am. I am kind to me, I am never unkind, I don’t put myself down silently or otherwise. Don’t get me wrong as in any healthy relationship I am all too aware of the personal faults I possess and yet I hide them with loyalty to me. I’m very far from perfect, but my flaws are mine, some of them are funny, some fill me with a sense of shame however I accept them all as part of who I am and love myself more for being able to spot them and work hard to iron them out with Gods help.

I give myself time to do things that make me happy and I don’t beat myself up for it. Just this morning I went back to bed and sat and read a novel for a few hours while my children watched cartoons and ate biscuits for breakfast, a luxury and I rose feeling refreshed and happy. I go for long walks, I take long baths, I read and I study and I write, I garden and I cook, I make time for my friends and my career all these things make me feel comfortable that even though my most important roles are as a wife and a mother I have an identity outside of them.

One of the most important lessons I have learnt is how vital to my health and well being it is to say no when I mean no, no I cant take on that extra role, no I cant do that favour. This stops negative feelings and prevents me getting myself stressed when I stretch myself too thinly, a true friend will understand when you say “No I cant do that I’m sorry.”

Putting myself first is not something to be ashamed of, I eat when I’m hungry and I make time for my soul to be fed with Quran and ibadah make dhikr and I rest when I am tired. I cuddle people I love I read stories to my little ones and we have fun. I never make a martyr of myself, my house is not spotless and my laundry basket is always full, I carry a bit of extra weight and I am not as strong as I need to be but i am happy with who I am right now, I can work to change things one step at a time and I’ll congratulate myself on my achievements on my journey.

I love that I was made a woman, that my body follows the cycles and that I feel the changes within physical and emotional as I move through the month. I love that Allah has blessed me with children that my body has sheltered and birthed and fed. I love that all the trials and hurts I carry don’t weigh me down and I can shake off depression by turning to my creator and crying my tears to Him who alone knows the pain I feel. All thanks is to Him alone.

I love that I have to keep pushing myself and that I have grown round and soft over the years. I look forwards to my future and whatever Allah decides is right for me I’ll put my trust in Him and be thankful by His will for who I become.